Practicing Minimalism by yourself has its own complexities, but practicing as a couple is a completely different story. While my husband and I are now on the same page regarding minimalism — most of the time — we weren’t always, which led to both struggle and growth. These four practices have helped us to work our way through the difficult minimalist moments, as well as work on building a lifestyle we love.
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These are our top four practices:
- Be respectful. First off, not only is everybody on their own path and has their own pace, but nagging about minimalism has never worked for anyone I know. YOUR kind of minimalism may not work for them, and THEIR kind of minimalism may not work for you. When it comes to personal belongings, being respectful seems to work best. Ditching/donating your own things and letting them ditch/donate/declutter their own things will likely ultimately lead to a happier home.
- Create a minimalist home together. When only one person is “in charge” of making the home pleasant, not only is that a lot of pressure and work, but the other person in the partnership isn’t invested. When both parts of the pair are working on creating a beautiful, minimalist home, not only does it give both people an opportunity to share in the experience, it’s likely that there won’t be resentment. Besides, it’s fun to design or create minimalist spaces together! I may not always agree with my husband’s ideas, but in the end, it’s just stuff and I love that we’ve designed our home together more than being 100% in charge.
- Communicate clearly about your spaces and expectations. Which surfaces are you hoping to keep clear? What are your partner’s triggers? What can you each do to contribute to the home? Communicating in a loving way will help your minimalist practices to stick and go a lot smoother as a couple.
- It’s not just about your space, but also about your schedule and lifestyle. People often forget that this is a major part of minimalism; it’s not just about the STUFF, but the activities you say yes to, the time you spend on hobbies, and whether you’re spending quality — and also mundane — time together.
Spending time supporting each others’ dreams, hobbies, and creating a simple-living lifestyle together has been some of the best work we’ve put into our marriage. Again, most of the time, it’s really fun, especially considering the fact that we used to spend a significant amount of time on the insignificant and — in retrospect — boring. Not only was it a waste of our lives, but we weren’t creating stronger relationship bonds. Now that we’ve refocused our goals, our life is just better.
Minimalism as a couple hasn’t always been easy. In fact, there were several years when we really clashed and it was a major struggle to overcome. Learning to practice minimalism and incorporate it into our life has been a slow process, but absolutely worthy of our efforts.
I hope these minimalism-for-couples tips help you along your path. Remember, it’s all about the experiences, not the stuff.
Here’s the article I talk about on the show, 6 Surprising Ways to Communicate Better With Your Partner
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