Category: Uncategorized

The Power of Being Told, “No!”

Posted on by Katie Coughran

We have a super old, tiny little netbook laptop that we occasionally allow the kids to use for writing projects. This thing is so decrepit and was used for so little that it doesn’t even have a trial version of Word on it. Also, we’re afraid to hook it up to the internet because we fear what the time-travel to the current state of powerful and virus-ridden programs might do to it. Plus, we wouldn’t (without monitoring) give our kids something that can be hooked up to the internet, anyway.

So! This old, tiny laptop is kind of perfect for the use of our kids.

We don’t let them use it often, though, and today, when my boy asked if he could use it, I told him, “No.”

After going through the usual question-answer-upset cycle, my son did something that has become a bit too regular that I’ve been thinking about a lot.

“I wish I could write on the laptop…there’s nothing else to do…I wish I could write on the laptop…”

And so it goes. On and on. He doesn’t really whine, it’s not exactly addressed to me, and it’s usually pretty quiet, so his words don’t necessarily draw enough attention that I feel that I have to talk to him about it right away. It’s about the twentieth time, though, when I finally realize that he’s still sitting there complaining.

Well, a light bulb went off today! After we had this exact conversation, I observed him quietly laying on the ground, softly complaining to nobody in particular. And that’s when it hit me.

Jonah was going through the same process we all go through during trials. That whole cycle-of-grieving, thing, but on a very small scale.

1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.

Watching him on the floor, I realized he was on number four: Depression. Maybe mixed a little with Bargaining–he still wasn’t over Bargaining yet.

As often as I do it–and don’t like it–I realized how good it was for me to tell him “No.” If I never tell him no, then he won’t learn how to work through the grief cycle when his trials are much bigger, or think more creatively about a problem and actually solve it. Or move on.

It then hit me; how often do I sit there, symbolically laying on the floor, wishing for something that I can’t have, instead of quickly accepting that I’ve been told “no” and coming up with a creative solution to the problem? Probably a lot, my friends.

Realizing exactly what was happening, which felt like an answer to my prayers because, quite frankly, this has been happening a little too often, we had a chat. I was glad I’d gotten him to Depression–it’s easier for him to listen than when he’s in the Bargaining stage–but it was time to Accept and move on.

When I repeated that he couldn’t have the laptop right now and pointed out that he could be having fun instead of laying on the ground, he sort of agreed. Then, I asked him exactly what he was going to do instead. Amazingly, his attitude switched pretty instantly. After we worked through a few options, he chose one and he went off to play with some Star Wars toys. Good, job, son. You used LightSpeed to jet yourself into Acceptance!

Being a parent has about a million pros, but one of my favorites are these kinds of moments when I see something in a simple form in a small problem, from which we both learn together.

With the start of 2017 comes a list of goals that will require stamina, physical and mental strength, as well as discipline to accomplish. In one way or another along my path, I know I will often be told, “No”, but I’m glad I had this insight today. It’s just another reminder of how much power we actually have.

Being told, “No” doesn’t mean we can’t actually accomplish that goal–sometimes it just means that we must work harder to get over a hurdle. Other times, like my son, the answer is “no” for right now and we have to accept that and move on. One of the options I offered was for him to write with a pen and paper. While he didn’t choose this, sometimes that’s what needs to happen–we have to choose a different option for accomplishing our task.

Resiliency is key when forced to come up with a different solution, but it can make us stronger and smarter. I’m definitely going to try to keep this in mind as I push myself to work harder to actually complete my goals and work through my problems.

Filling the Cup

Posted on by Katie Coughran

If you’ve been checking my blog posts or hanging out on Facebook with me, you’ll know that I’ve been working on a clean and quirky romantic comedy. I wrote it for NaNoWriMo in the month of November, which was a major accomplishment for me. Over 50,000 words and a completed manuscript in a month is a pretty strenuous task. In case you’re wondering, I ordered the paperback proof and it should be ready to be released withing a few weeks. I love it and am excited to share it with you all!

To add to the chaos of the month, I also published my four completed books in November; Inheritance Aflame and the first three books of Broden and Cookie, the ongoing chapter book series.

While November was awesome author-wise, I was ready to slow down a bit for a few days once December came around. With all of the Christmas festivities and a slight feeling of exhaustion from what I had accomplished in November, I wondered how my body and mind would react to the craziness of my newly-launched venture.

Let me tell you, after about a week, it became apparent that I had needs that demanded fulfillment! I was drained. However, the problem wasn’t that I wanted to stop creating/editing/writing/illustrating–those things generally fill my cup. However, I knew that my current route wasn’t necessarily the correct one. Or at least, I needed a detour.

Well, I didn’t really listen to myself and I kept editing the current project/outlining my next project to happy music (Cyndi Lauper radio on Pandora) and pushing away thoughts of other manuscripts that are on my list for 2017.

The problem was, I’m a rather broody sort. Bands like Iron & Wine and Tycho were my best friends when I was writing Inheritance Aflame. Even though they’re not necessarily bands that make “Happy” music, I feel good when I listen to them.

As a side note that I promise has a purpose, I’m going to tell you that I love music as a tool for provoking a feeling while writing. Finding music that captures the essence of my story really helps me to quickly pick up where I left off and begin typing away during the time I make for my craft. Thus, I listened to Cyndi Lauper radio while writing my romantic comedy.

Having my goal of finishing edits on my new manuscript, I pushed away the desire to retreat to my homeland of quiet solace and deep thoughts by keeping on with Cyndi and not doing what I really wanted–spending time drawing out some sketches for a new trilogy while listening to Tycho.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Even though I love my romantic comedy manuscript, my mind needed something different. Because I was doing something that usually feeds my soul, which allows me to care for my family, but wasn’t actually what I needed, it was draining instead of filling my cup.

After refusing to accept this, my body finally had to force me to stop what I was doing with the editing and do what I actually needed. My brain went on strike and it simply would not edit another word. After staring blankly at the laptop for thirty minutes one night, I finally put it away, pulled out my sketchbook and too-expensive pens, then switched my station on Pandora.

I ended up sketching out things that I’ve been imagining for a long time, as well as some new characters. I’m not sure if she’ll ever appear anywhere other than here, but the above witchy woman was one of the sketches that moved from mind to paper that night.

While I listened to the music that allows me to hit a heightened creative flow, it actually felt very meditative. I didn’t really have any coherent thoughts about my life as my brush-tipped pen moved across the page. I simply created and felt a peaceful fulfillment of my needs.

I slept amazingly well that night and I woke up feeling great the next morning. When I went back to editing, my mind was clear and I was able to move quickly because I was totally rejuvenated.

Ever since my little “A-ha!” moment, I’ve been trying to pay better attention to what I actually need. While I haven’t needed to pull the sketchbook out again, I might end up swapping my next two writing projects in the lineup. And, I’m listening to more “fill-my-cup” music.

What about you? What fills your cup?

Happy New Year!

Posted on by Katie Coughran

 

I wish you all the best in the coming year! I know that there are mixed feelings about New Year’s Resolutions, but I personally love making goals. I’m excited to share them and my progress with you in the coming months. For now, though? Happy New Year!

Teaching a Mini Writing Class

Posted on by Katie Coughran

On Monday I had the opportunity to go into a classroom and work with some awesome third-graders. It was so much fun and what a great class/teacher! I taught a mini class that I call, “The Why Lesson.” It was awesome to see the kids engage, share their wonderful imaginations and participate. I loved seeing their wonderful minds at work; it’s a great reminder of the beautiful and unique intelligence with which we are each blessed.

(Note the Laundry Santa necklace. I learned from a music teacher once – always where a crazy necklace or scarf when teaching children. Even if they aren’t paying attention to your words, they’ll be more likely to pay attention to you.)
During the mini class, I discussed with the kids just how important it is as authors to ask ourselves why. Why would a character change its usual pattern to include something completely different? This is what makes fiction – and nonfiction – so interesting. The class totally got it and hands flew up to answer the many questions I asked them after telling them my terribly-written-on-purpose story of Sam and Sally, the two cats I illustrated in the picture I’m holding up. They had some fantastic answers to the many whys I left unanswered in the story of Same and Sally!

Next, I asked them to answer a few one-sentence questions. Here are a few examples:

Why was the fly riding a motorcycle?

Why did the elephant ask the mouse if he could borrow his hat?

Why was there a pepperoni on the ice cream?

Why didn’t the rat have a tail?

I loved hearing their totally off-the-wall, yet very logical-within-fiction responses to my questions. Favorite answer because the visual it provoked was so great: ‘The elephant asked the mouse for his hat because he wanted to keep his trunk warm.’ Hehehe! Kids are so funny!

One of the reasons I feel passionate about this subject is due to the fact that I had to learn this lesson the hard way. During the first draft of my YA novel, Inheritance Aflame, I definitely didn’t ask myself enough questions about my characters and this resulted in quite a bit of rewrite. It all ended up great, however, because in the end, I knew my characters well and I discovered that I enjoy the process of pondering the whys.

By the time I wrote the first three Broden and Cookie books, this process of questioning myself about my characters was a lot easier, and one I learned to begin with, not end with.

It was a great experience to hang out with some super fun kids and I look forward to getting more hilarious answers from kiddos in other classrooms!

Lessons Learned From Winning NaNoWriMo2016!!

Posted on by Katie Coughran

nanowrimo2016-winner-lessons-learned

I officially won NaNoWriMo2016!

National Novel Writing Month officially begins November 1st and ends November 30th; you win if you write 50,000 words of a novel within that time. My goal was to actually finish the novel in the 50,000 words, not just begin it and I’m very happy that I was able to do so. It ended with roughly 50,900 words. On to editing!!

I have to say, it was very relieving to write this story! It’s been bottled up in my head for about three years now, morphing and changing over time until my characters and story developed enough to write the outline. Of course, it’ll go through another metamorphosis during editing, but the key elements will remain the same and my characters simply are who they are. Characters have a funny way of doing that–turning into people that think and do for themselves, whether you, the author, wants them to or not.

Although it’s a little way off, I’m excited to see this Clean and Quirky Romantic Comedy get through editing. It was a lot of work, a story I totally laughed through while writing and, again, it was gratifying to finally get it onto paper.

While there were some really crazy moments in November when I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to publish all four of my books and write a book in the month of November–on top of homeschooling my children, taking care of my husband and all of the other things that I prioritize above writing–a few different mantras kept me working through the difficult times.

Eat the Elephant One Bite at a Time

Wow. I heard somebody say this recently and it was exactly what I needed! I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned in the last 6 months of this Indie Author life I’m now living, but “one bite at a time”, one word written at a time, one techie thing learned at a time has gotten me through things I didn’t ever think I would be able to do. It totally got me through my word count goals each day for NaNoWriMo.

Envisioning the End

While this isn’t a mantra, it helped me to remember how awesome it would feel to know that I finished NaNoWriMo. When I can imagine how great it’s going to feel to finish something, it is often the number one motivator in pushing me through to the end.

Finishing this book means a lot of things for me, so I was able to include these things as I practiced positive thinking. First off, I can feel the great satisfaction of knowing that I’ve written five books–awesome feeling and a personal goal achieved! Secondly, this is a book I’ve wanted to write (yes! I’m mentioning that again–it shows just how much I wanted to write it!) for a long time, so woohoo for having it done!

Lastly, this is yet another book that I will be editing, then publishing. I have no idea how many people it will reach, who will enjoy its humor and sweetness, or how many people it will make happy because it’s a romance novel that doesn’t have a greased up man on its cover. But! I can imagine those things and this helped me to finish.

Hard Work Beats Talent Every Time

I checked in with #NaNoWriMo2016 on Twitter almost daily. While I was often intimidated by the people who were getting 5,000-9,000 word count days in, it was also inspiring to see their hard work adding up. At the same time, I didn’t discount my own. Remembering that I was publishing four books on top of participating in NaNoWriMo allowed me to appreciate their efforts as well as my own.

In the end, though, I know that everyone who participated in NaNoWriMo got to 1,000, 20,000, 50,000+ word count totals by November 30th because they worked hard. Talent and luck are not a part of actually finishing a goal–sheer will and determination are. A person can have all the “talent” in the world, but unless that person actually gets to work, said person’s talent will simply sit there and become insignificant as those who work hard end up developing greater talents.

I needed this reminder! I’m not talented, but I know that I can work hard. Finishing NaNoWriMo was symbolic–I can finish other goals that I have.

If It’s Not Challenging, It’s Not Fun

While I don’t think I’m a total “I love challenges” junkie, I do love learning, achieving and the empowerment I feel when finishing a goal. It’s something that I will remember for a long time–especially since I hung my awesome print-at-home completion certificate on the door of my secretary-style writing desk. Even though it’s only been a few days, I had a lot of fun juggling so many things in November and every time I look at that little piece of paper, I smile at the chaos of it all!

Accountability Buddies

While I didn’t actually ever ask anybody on Facebook to be my Accountability Buddy, I checked in often and, because the people I’m friends with are amazing, I got support. While I hadn’t been counting on that, it helped so much! I’m not even kidding–it pushed me so much! Every like, heart and comment was a little bit of fuel to keep the fire burning.

The Accountability Buddy system totally works and people are great! I’m always pleasantly surprised at what happens when I reach out for help. So thank you! Thank you for your support.

As a Final Note, I’m happy I joined the throngs of people that participated in NaNoWriMo. The twitter feed was awesome to scroll through–people receiving support, pats on the back for their achievements, seeing all of the different languages–super fun to know how world-wide the event is–and just a generally fun and productive community.

I can’t wait for NaNoWriMo2017!

NaNoWriMo2016, Day 1!!!

Posted on by Katie Coughran

nanowrimo2016-day-1

 

First day of National Novel Writing Month and I got 2,258 words in—woohoo! I really want to get 2,000 words per day and pace myself out nice and steady. I think that’s the only way I’ll accomplish my goal. I’m pleased with my first day–I made it!

So, I said that I would be revealing my novel genre today, so here goes! My novel is a clean, YA romantic comedy and I’m totally excited about it! I’m aiming for a Hallmark channel movie meets summer teen-type movie meets…something else to make an awesome mash-up for my book, but we’ll see what happens.

I’ve had this idea in my head for about 3 years now, so I was happy to outline it in September as a relief for some of the other work I’ve been doing. It’s going to be super fun, cheesy and amazing!

Ok! I’ve written a lot of words today, so this blog post will be very short and I’m going to go ahead and say, Over and Out! Happy writing or reading!

Feel free to follow me on Twitter or on my Facebook Author Page if you want to keep up with my daily word count posts where I will be keeping my writing status up-to-date. I will not be posting my word counts daily on the blog, but rather, a weekly round-up to keep me accountable and moving forward!

One Reason I’ve Been Slightly Absent . . .

Posted on by Katie Coughran

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Yep. That’s me, above. I’ve perfectly captured some of what I’ve been doing, though I’ll be sharing some exciting news about other things I’ve been working on in the next few weeks! I can’t wait!

In all seriousness, I have been working really hard on my authorial business in every “spare” moment that I “have.” Haha! More like “every minute that I’ve brutally removed activities, sleep, meals and many things I recently stamped as unnecessary from.” Wishful thinking, but don’t you all think it would be nice if there were a few more hours in each day??

Editing is going great and coming to an end. That’s why it’s going great! Also, I don’t always look like the above illustration when I’m working through my manuscripts, but I have to admit, it is a difficult task and one I’d prefer to not experience. I definitely relate much better to articles by writers confessing that editing nearly brings them to tears than the writers that cheerfully claim they enjoy the process.

In other authorial news; besides having a few big reveals in November, I am going to be participating in NaNoWriMo2016! First time and I think that I’m appropriately happy and terrified to join the challenge of writing at least 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November. For reference, Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone was about 77,000 words. Stay tuned for my genre reveal tomorrow, plus I’ll be using the blog as an accountability tool and keeping you updated on my progress!

Happy Halloween!

 

Have you signed up to get the blog posts delivered via email? The following month will be packed with fun, so if you don’t want to miss it, please feel to sign up in the sidebar!

Yummy: Justin’s Organic Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Posted on by Katie Coughran

justins-peanut-butter-cup-cover-pic

 

I have another chocolate for you to hunt down and try! That is, if you love the taste of chocolate and peanut butter together. Today, you’ll get insights about Justin’s Organic Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups.

I found these at my local health food store, but I’ve also seen them in the health food section at Fred Meyer and once at a Target, so hopefully you can find them somewhere if you want to try them, also!

Today I wanted to review this a little differently, though. As a science/writing project, I had my kids taste and review them for us—but of course I snagged a bite, too, so I’ll add in my opinion as well!

I asked them six questions and here are their honest and unaltered answers:

*Review from my Oldest:

1. How do you like the flavor?

Not really.

2. Do they taste like other peanut butter cups?

No.

3. Use some adjectives to explain what the peanut butter cup feels like in your mouth

Soft inside and hard shell.

4. How does your mouth feel after you’ve swallowed?

Peanut buttery.

5. Would you like to eat them again, someday?

No.

6. Tell me any other thoughts you have about Justin’s Peanut Butter Cups

I would like them better if they didn’t have peanut butter in them. I really don’t know why I don’t like peanut butter.

*I knew these wouldn’t be my daughter’s favorite—she doesn’t like nuts very much! However, this was a fantastic way for her to try something not to her taste while having a very open mind about exploring the flavors . . .and also having a chance to be honest about whether she liked them or not. I will definitely be tucking this little food survey away for another time.

Review from my Youngest:

1. How do you like the flavor?

I love it!

2. Do they taste like other peanut butter cups?

No.

3. Use some adjectives to explain what the peanut butter cup feels like in your mouth

Chewy and Smooth.

4. How does your mouth feel after you’ve swallowed?

Buttery.

5. Would you like to eat them again, someday?

YES!

6. Tell me any other thoughts you have about Justin’s Peanut Butter Cups

They taste good.

 

Katie’s Review:

Mm-Mmmm! Unlike two people in my family, I’m with my youngest and I LOVE the Choco-Peanut Butter combo! It’s one of my favorites, really. I’ve tried Justin’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups before and liked them, but I got the Milk Chocolate version this time and really enjoyed them as well—probably a little more.

 

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Favorite Bits:

– The authentic peanut butter flavor is really great! It adds a salty/sweet flavor that is fantastic. The salty and sweet combo is my favorite aspect of the whole experience.

– Though these are Milk Chocolate and definitely sweeter than the Dark Chocolate ones, they aren’t too sweet. Just enough to be delicious, but not so much so that the sugar granules scratch your throat going down (winky face!)

– There is something about the much more widely known peanut butter cup that leaves a chemical aftertaste as well as a waxy lining in the mouth—not necessarily desirable! Justin’s definitely don’t do that. After eating, I mostly just had a sweet, Peanut taste in my mouth. Pretty sure that would be the ingredient list.

If you, too, love the Choco-Peanut Butter combo, I would snag a pack to try! And if you generally look for organic, more natural products, I would say that this could be a great alternative.

Have you tried Justin’s Peanut Butter Cups??? What did you think?

Note: I just picked these up because I thought they would be fun to review and didn’t receive compensation in exchange. Our opinions are honest!

Mad Libs: A Fun and Useful Tool for Writing with Children

Posted on by Katie Coughran

At the beginning of the summer this year, we went on a quick trip to celebrate the season and while on said getaway, we happened to eat at a restaurant. While I can’t remember which restaurant it was, I do remember the children’s place mat/menu, which had various activities to keep the kiddos busy while we waited for our food.

On this menu was one of our favorite things we’ve ever seen on a busy mat—a MAD LIB!! It was fun to play the word game and I thoroughly enjoyed observing my children finding the hilarity of it all, but as I sat there, I realized what an amazing teaching tool the Mad Lib was.

 

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So, I headed over to Amazon (yes, I love Amazon!) later that evening, found a book that was on sale and we’ve been enjoying them ever since! You can find Goofy Mad Libs here, but look around HERE for others that are on sale.

 

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Not only are they fun to do as a family, but we’ve enjoyed them with friends, singly, and with our extended family. Hours were spent on these when some of our friends came to see us this summer, and this one was done by all of our children, without our supervision. They laughed SO HARD! My favorite: Cats with Mustaches! What were they thinking???

It is often forgotten that whether writing for elementary, high school, college, journaling, letter-writing or business proposals, all forms can and likely should be composed creatively, with the most polished language we can summon. Helping our children to write imaginatively now will develop into a skill to be used in whatever capacity they find useful and necessary as the years go by.

Why Mad Libs? Firstly, they require the players to know or learn grammatical terms (an up side for the parent/teacher). While they are genuinely hilarious for the players (an up side for the child/student), the students don’t even know they are learning, which is another up side for everyone!

Secondly, for a Mad Lib to be over-the-top funny, you must really think about your word choices. When we first got our book, my kids kept trying to use the same nouns/verbs, etc., and I finally had to guide them a little bit, giving them license and a push to be silly. Maybe they took it too far . . .

 

mad-libs-kids

 

While the books are great, you can find some Free Printables Here or you can find some Online Form Mad Libs Here that create your story after you fill in some blanks. If you love apps, the official Mad Libs has one of those that you can learn about Here.

They would also be perfect for a long road trip! Some of my beautiful sisters-in-law get creative with keeping their kiddos busy while driving long distances–usually, they have a little surprise for each hour of driving. Pulling out a Mad Lib book or printable would be a perfect treat.

Whether you are working on your writing as an adult or teaching grammar terms to children this year, I highly recommend Mad Libs—it’s easy and entertaining at the same time!

 

*All links in this post are non-affiliated!

My Favorite Chamomile Tea

Posted on by Katie Coughran

honey-vanilla-chamomile-tea

 

There are so many great things that come with the start of school and change of seasons. I love seeing all of the pumpkins, mums and changing leaves. I also feel a renewal somewhat akin to the beginning of the new year, which I thoroughly enjoy because making a list of goals totally satisfies and motivates my personality. I get lost without goals!

Of course, there are a few little problems, like the sun disappearing behind piles of clouds for months on end, hair frizzing out like crazy and my legs turning an unsightly shade of white.

Even worse, though, is the awful, disgusting, seriously nasty cold that I get at the beginning of every September.

Wait, what’s that? You get one also? I thought so! It’s pretty wild what can happen when all of the germs we collect on our summer travels are brought back to our communities to join forces and morph into an epic cold at the change of seasons and start of school, which is the perfect breeding ground.

Well, this September was no different, except for the fact that it may have been worse; I got a nasty cold that, at first, I thought I would be able to fight off. In fact, it even pretended to disappear for a time, but then returned with a vengeance a few days later.

I rested, ate homemade bread and soup, let my husband take care of us and drank plenty of water. It was all helpful and wonderful, but my favorite comfort when sick—besides watching back episodes of Doc Martin—is TEA. Beautiful herbal teas that warm you up, clear your sinuses and tell you that, in spite of your terrible state, you will be okay at some point.

I’m a fan of several brands of teas, but my go-to when I’m sick is Chamomile, and not just any Chamomile! I like Honey Vanilla Chamomile by Celestial Seasonings.

While they might not be of the highest caliber, tea-wise, you can find it pretty much anywhere, and for a gal that doesn’t really prefer chamomile tea, they totally got it right with the Honey Vanilla blend.
So! If you’re just recovering from the Fall Snotfest, or perhaps my germs have finally traversed the many or few miles necessary to come knocking on your door, you might consider tea.